My Cautious Little Mister

Today I came to the realization that Jude is very likely going to be one of those people that has a few really close friends, because he can't be bothered with the rest.  He's very particular about the other children he chooses to attach himself too and the others are just obstacles that get between him and them.  On one end, this is good, it means he's not as likely to get pulled into group mentalities and the trouble those can cause.  It means his friendships are likely to be more enduring because he'll put more effort into each individual one.  It bodes well for his commitment in romantic relationships.  On the other hand it's going to open him up to being hurt more easily if someone he's friends with is more popular than him (he won't get as much attention as he's giving).  It means he's likely to be a little clingy if he's not careful.  It also means he's likely to ignore people if they're not in his circle, and possible anger them. He'll respond when other children talk to him, and sometimes more outgoing kids can get him to open up and play, he's not anti-social.  He's just really particular and cautious.  If not encouraged to remain open it may also put him on the outskirts of most social groups.

It's really weird watching your own child and seeing so much of yourself in them.  Jude isn't shy like I was though, thank god.  I was painfully shy.  Horribly shy.  Would very nearly cry if the teacher called on me shy.  But, we are alike in that select few friends bit.  I don't waste my time getting to know everyone at a party.  Honestly, if I don't have plans to continue to include you in my life intentionally... I'm not likely to remember your name unless there's something significant about it in and of itself.  Sorry.  I'm not doing it to be rude, my brain simply prunes anything out that it doesn't absolutely need.  And it's not that I don't feel everyone isn't worth knowing, it's just a rational "is this person really going to fit into my life" question.  I'm not a super social butterfly.  Neither is Jude.  He has his best friends, three if you count his cousin (which he does), and one or two other's that he'll hang with but are a little behind socially due to an age difference.  And one or two that over time I think have the potential to be best friends.  But that's it.  He's more likely to approach an adult to play or show them something than another child.  Part of me likes that and hopes it's a sign of intelligence, and another part is a little concerned for how that may play out for him in his teen years.