Cop Out

I recently saw a post on CM that makes me want to Soap Box it right now.  The post was from a mother of three asking if asking her husband for a nanny was justifiable even though she's a SAHM... really?  Are your children special needs?  Are you %100 without a support group?  More importantly, did someone put a gun to your head and make you have those kids?

This is why it pisses me off, because if you can't handle it, stop having babies!  We all know parenting is hard.  We're faced with it every day.  Ask any friend or relative and they will tell you that being a parent is a full time job.  Actually, it's more than that, it's a FTJ plus OT.  You read it on countless blogs, you see it on talk shows, hell, you watch it on "reality" T.V.  Want to know why Katie of the 8 acts like a psycho bitch?  Because she has 8 fucking kids!  And that's enough to drive any woman a bit bat shit.

If you aren't cut out for taking care of you kids on your own (this does not include those that need childcare because they're working, this is about SAHM primarily, those that only have the job of caring for their children and home), why insist on having the babies?  Because the world does not need more people.  We've got plenty.

Making an active choice to bring children into this world means that YOU are taking responsibility for their well being.  You're not having them in order to give some young college student the chance to hone their mommy skills, you're vagina isn't offering a public service, it's doing what YOU made it do.  If that college student can take full time classes, get A's in said classes, have a social life, AND care for your kids.... you can care for your kids and clean your damn house without a nanny.

Again, I'm not pretending this is easy.  I only have one child and my home isn't perfect, but it's not a pig sty either.  There may be toys on the floor at any given time but that floor isn't crusted over with food droppings and god knows what else.  Yes, my son probably watches a little too much TV so that I can clean effectively (although recently he's started taking naps again and two hours gives me plenty of time to do some chores), but he's also smart and well socialized.  We do play dates, go for walks, read together.  I'm not perfect by any sense of the word, no one is, but fucking A, a NANNY for a SAHM.

And on that note I have actually been a live-in nanny for a SAHM.  I got the kid up in the morning, feed him, bathed him, so that she could lay around in bed until 11 (mostly because she was up until 3 in the a.m. watching TV).  When we went out to shop I cared for the child, the diapers, the carrying etc.  I had to learn to cook for someone with a gluten allergy and this was in 2001, before all those convenient mixes came out.  Although since then the mother has written a book about the topic (and gained a shit ton of weight).  To this day I firmly believe that she kept me around because a) she had a child for her husband, not because she wanted to be a mother b) and because the expectation of her religion and society told her it's what she should do c) and because she wanted a friend.  Yup, she paid me to take care of her child and provide with her socialization.  She did not need me.  She could have cared for her child all on her own had she actually wanted the SAHM life.

See, that's it right there.  I think that far too many women get into the life because they have been told that that is what they are on this earth to do.  A baby factory.  Their interests should never take them far from the home.  I call serious bull shit on that argument because if it's what you are "meant" to do, then why aren't you able to do it and why the hell don't you enjoy it?  If you don't take pride in your work with your children and home (this includes housekeeping duties), then your argument goes right out the window.

I understand that depression can play a role, but don't tell me that's why your house is trashed.  If you're depressed, and you can admit it, you can fix it.  You can see a doctor, you can go to therapy, you can read some self-help books and you can reach out for help.  Those that blame shit on depression piss me off.  I've been depressed, so don't tell me I can't understand.  You can tell me you're weak and I'm more prone to give you sympathy because at least you're admitting that the problem lies in YOU.

So yeah, that's my Soap Box topic for the day.  I'll stop there or this will lead in to all sorts of potential sub-topics.

Beauty and Brains

It freaks me out a bit that my 3 1/2 year old grasps abstract thought.  Little dude has also already started trying to use reverse psychology on us.  What the what?  Oh my he's going to give us a run for our money.