So, summer has just started for us. And by that I mean my son had his last day of school and we've had one full week of him being home all day again.
How do parents do this?
To go from even just three hours four days a week of having time to get shit done to having it revoked... it's like a punishment and I'm not even sure what I did to deserve it.
Don't get all high and mighty with me now, yes I chose to have a child, yes raising him is something I have to actively participate in, yes I love him, yes I'm aware that time is short and he'll be grown before I know it. But seriously, the day in and day out of parenting can wear on a person if they're not getting time off. As with anything you need some moderation. I can't miss my child if he's always with me.
And you have to understand something else, my son also shares a room with me... I don't even get a break at night when I go to bed because he's right there, three feet away from me, needing a glass of water, to pee, to be tucked back in, to be untucked because now he's too hot... etc.
I love my son. I love him more than anything else in this entire world. Just the thought of losing him stops my heart and makes it hard to breathe.
But, you can love something and still have it fray your nerves.
People that have never been a stay at home parent have no idea what it's like. In the early stages it's easy, they sleep, eat, poop, not much to worry over. By the time they're walking though, it's game on. By the time their talking, it's game over, and they've won. I'm not sure when it get's easier because at nearly five I'm still being called in to wipe my son's bum when he's pooped (well, he has to do it first, I have to check his work). He's not old enough to make his own food, fetch his own snacks (mostly because he can't reach the cupboards), get his clothes (again, due to their location and his lack of adult height), find any of his toys... he takes after his father on that one because it's usually right where I say it is and he's looked five times already but his blind spot keeps falling just so and he can't see it in plain sight. I kiss boo-boos, I navigate menus, I pick up, wipe up, clean up, cuddle, fetch, fetch, fetch... so much fetching I feel like changing my name to Fido.
Now we have two neighbor girls that our son plays with and while on a social level for Jude, I'm grateful, on a personal note I want to get out the spray bottle and treat them like feral cats. Ever had a 5 year old stand with their face pressed against your screen door saying things like "You have Netflix? Like me?" "What's that on the couch? Is that a stuffed animal." "What are you doing?" "Can I have a snack?" "Can I have some toys?" "Can you bring out the castle?" "Can I see that Skylander again?" "Where are your cats?" "Can we play in the sandbox?" "This is my My Little Pony, her name is Stardust." "Want to see my Barbie?" "Look what I can do!!!!" I have to fight the urge to flick her little squashed nose every time.
NOT MY CHILD.
See, this is why I decided that teaching was not a career move for me. Other people's children drive me batty. Not all of them, there are a few in this world I like, even love, but for the most part I want them to go bug someone else.
In this case, out of the two, honestly, the older one (she's 6) is kind of cool and only bugs me maybe once a week, but the youngest (she's nearly 5), does it constantly throughout the day. All day. Every day.
Actually, I think if it were just the older child and Jude I'd get some peace and quiet because all the altercations that arise, that I must mediate, are the younger one having problems (translate into not getting her way). Wish in one hand...
Sigh.
So yeah, right now I don't have any work to do, so it's merely annoying but not detrimental to my over-all productiveness... but I'm dreading the days when I've editing shoots because there is a real chance I'm going to end up snapping and my next post will be about how my neighbor yelled at me for calling her child an bothersome little cricket. And no, I have no idea why I chose cricket.
In summation, next year, I'm looking into summer camps.
This probably wouldn't be so bad if I had transportation and could escape.
