Why did you have a child? I know why I did, I mean, at least I understand my own personal desire to be a parent. I think. I guess it's not really that easy of a question to answer. Even if you can answer why, the answer sometimes brings forth more questions, which creates this vicious cycle of logical vs philosophical vs biological that leaves you wondering what the point of anything truly is...
So let's skip that, shall we? Instead let's ask ourselves another question. A more pertinent one. What is your ultimate goal in the raising of your child? See, a much more important question. Forget the why's of childbearing. No, a child can be a total accident and still have an equal shot at a decent life compared to one that was planned. The thing that a child's success tends to hinge upon is something far greater. It is the INTENT of the parent.
I'll make an example of myself, to let you know where I'm going with this.
Hello, my name is Tiffany, and I'm attempting to raise a healthy, happy, emotionally stable, realistic, useful, productive member of society.
"Hello, Tiffany!" That's your response, or at least it is according every movie that has depicted some type of self help group congregating has led me to believe.
Every system, eco, biological, mechanical, etc., requires balance, and it requires every part to do it's job in order to run smoothly. Do we dispute that? God, I hope not, because to do so would be a bit retarded. And yes, offense meant, because if you happen to be one of the few that thinks the chaos is key to understanding the universe you are blinding yourself to everything from the scientific evidence to the spiritual arguments that will tell you otherwise. Life on this planet is a delicate balance that requires every little piece to do it's part to maintain harmony... which we as humans sort of suck at, so it's not surprising that we're not particularly balanced right now. Over population being, I think, the number one contributor to this (stop having babies people! One to replace each person is MORE than enough, so just stop procreating already).
Ugh, see, this is why I'm not an actual journalist. I have a tendency to want to run with tangents... and a lack of desire to placate people by sugar coating the truth. People who upset too easily would never have lasted two hundred years ago. Natural selection would have done it's job... damn bike helmets. See, and over population wouldn't be a hot button like it is today! Shame.
So, back to my question of what YOU hope to accomplish as a parent. I think too many people are focused on themselves (I just want my kids to love me!) and narrow minded in their views of what is good for their children (I just want them to be happy!). So, in Google searchable terms "permissive by choice" parents. These are people that, in my crude terms, are treating their children as pets. Yup, you read that right, pets. Give them a cute name, dress them in cute clothes, make sure they're fed and watered, clean, and oh, don't forget... I want them to wag their tails at me when I praise them and lick my face when I come home from work and show me all sorts of affection for no other reason but that I take them for walks and give them treats!!!! Yeah, pets.
To simply say that you want your child to be happy, without the ability to explain how that's going to be accomplished shows a sever lack of understanding of life in general. Okay, so you want your child to be happy... what do you think that means? Making sure they have the basics? Giving them the coolest toys? Hugging them on a regular basis? No, seriously, WHAT DO YOU MEAN by that? I ask because for me, wanting my child to be happy involves so many layers of skills and experiences that I can't even pretend that "I just want him to be happy!" covers it all. Not even close. I would have to write a text book to fully explain what that means for me, for my child. So what do YOU mean when you say it?
I'm not going to delve much further into that topic at this precise moment because I think it's more important to let the question fester. Let it burrow it's way into your brain and lay it's eggs so that some day in the not so distant future you'll be awakened with pain in your skull that might actually make you take note and really stop to think about it for a while.
Children are IT. They are the answer to every problem we have as a society, as a populace, as a nation, as a species. They are IT. Even if we can't figure out the solution to world hunger, THEY might, and so therefore they are the answer. Everything we do, should be with them in mind. Every thought we have toward solving political tensions should involve them. Every time we think about the future it should be their future, not ours, that we concern ourselves with.
If you are one of those parents, those "I just want my kids to love me and be happy" type of parents, don't even talk to me. If you see me in public just walk away, because if I hear you say that without any real idea of how you plan to accomplish that outside of superficial bullshit like toys, clothes, organic breastfeeding, swaddling, co-sleeping, Baby Einstein DVDs and Leap Frog learning systems I will punch you in the face. I will punch you in your selfish new age hippie I don't feel I got enough love as a child so I'm going to overindulge my offspring and turn them into boundary-less brats who bully other children while I shrug it off as just being a kid faces. Don't test me.
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