First, let's me ask you this: do you want your child to have a hard life? I'm going to take a wild guess and say you answered that with a resounding NO! Okay, so let me ask you another question: do you want your child to be happy? YES! See, easy questions, no fear here. Okay, so now: do you think that bullies have a hard life? Are the happy? Here's a hint, the answers are usually the opposite of your former ones. To understand the whys we're going to have to delve a little deeper.
Okay, friends, they are essential to the happiness of most individuals (I say most only to cover those that have disorders that cause them to prefer being alone) whether it be a ton of them or just a couple of really good ones. They lift our spirits when we're down, they share our joys, they help us when we need to move, they defend us to others, etc. Friends pretty much rule. For some they even take a higher place than family since friends are chosen and family is usually not. So, do bullies have friends? Nope. Typically bullies attract "friends" in symbiotic ways, like tics on dogs. People who need protection and therefore latch on to a bully for it. Sometimes people who simply don't want to be the one bullied by said bully so they're on the "winning side" of things. Others are of like mind but this makes the relationship one of the fair weather kind because bullies don't back each other up, they turn on each other when in trouble.
So, in summation, bullies are pretty much friendless. No friends = unhappy life. Is that safe to assume? In generalities at the very least? Okay, so then it's safe to assume that by allowing your child to be a bully and exhibit bully like behavior you are contributing to their unhappiness in life. Awesome, huh?
Next I'll just quickly cover the idea that bullies are disliked by everyone else. You don't like bullies, right? Bullies are assholes. Bullies suck. Bullies are hated, despised even. I don't know about you, but I really don't want my son to be despised. I don't want him to be THAT kid. I want my child to be well liked, for the awesome little person that he is. I want him to be the one that stands up to bullies, stands up for other kids being bullied, to fight for the underdog... but not necessarily to be it. This is where teaching assertiveness comes into play (not aggressiveness, BIG difference).
Last I'm going to cover a very little thought about consequence of allowing bullying behavior to continue in your child. It involves your child's life, their physical well being, I'm talking about their mortal life.
Heavy huh?
Think about this though: in nearly every school shooting that has occurred who are the shooters? They're the misfits, the outcast, the kids that are bullied. And who are typically those kids primary targets? The bullies. Everyone else is acceptable collateral damage to those shooters. Sometimes they'll target kids that were just connected to the bullies, kids that snickered at the teasing, even kids that just stood by and didn't do anything... they didn't help, but the bullies are the primary goal.
So even if you're not willing to stop bullying and aggressive behavior for the sake of the other children that may come into contact with yours, do it for the sake of your child and the life that could be cut short if you don't.
For a good fictional read on the topic I recommend Jodi Picoult's Nineteen Minutes.
Image from my stock, editing by mushmeshmosh @ deviantART
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