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Monday, August 1, 2011

Toddler-ese

It's weird to think that we were once concerned over Jude's speech because around 16-18 months he seemed behind his friends.  Not by a great deal, and there was never a doubt about comprehension, in fact he picked up sign language nice and early and used that a bunch at first.  It was just enough to make me wonder as a normally concerned parent.  Of course, by two he'd caught up so now I have a very well spoken and capable little guy on my hands.

While at the store today, while him and I were conversing, another mother with a one year old asked me how old he was.  I told her he'll be three in September and she was surprised.  She commented on how clear his speech is and how she thought he was older.  She did admit that since she only has the one year old she doesn't really know when to expect these things, but still.  It made me smile.

Here is my advice on speech and young children.  First off, always talk to them in a manner you wish them to emulate.  If you baby talk, they hear baby talk, they'll likely pick up baby talk.  I never shy away from using big words with Jude, even when he was an infant.  If he doesn't understand what the word means he'll ask me, or he'll infer the general idea from the context of the sentence.  Yup, toddlers are more than capable of doing that.  I think people, especially Americans, have a tendency to underestimate their children.  It's in those first years where speech is developed that they have the most potential to learn variations in it.  Their little sponge like minds just absorb it like water.  We've been told it's the best time to introduce multiple languages even, and that doesn't even mean having them learn it per se, it means just getting their brain use to hearing it.  Think of it as flipping the switch from off to on.  If it's never switched on the brain will prune that area, like so much unused wiring.  If it's on, however, the brain recognizes that it's useful and leaves it there making the ability to learn languages later in life far easier.  I believe I was first introduced to that concept in Psych 101... pretty sure.

Language is like anything else with children, they learn the best through example and through practical application.  My little boy has been known to say things like "You'll not change my mind, Momma."  or  "That's ridiculous!" (as opposed to "silly" or "funny").  He expands upon his feelings so rather than just saying "I like that" it's "I like that so much!" or "I really like that!"  He doesn't just ask for a chip he tells me "I would like yellow chips in a blue bowl" using descriptive words so that he gets exactly what he wants with no question or confusion.  It's amazing and wonderful to me the kinds of conversations you can have with him now.  Blows my mind.

Second, don't hesitate to ask your doctor if there is concern with speech.  Speech is something that is strongly tied into other areas of development and can be the first warning sign for more serious disorders, like Autism. Early detection is so important and can really help expedite progress in social and emotional development.  It could also be a sign of other physical problems.  Better safe than sorry.

There really isn't much more to it than that.  Expect maybe reading to your child and restricting TV watching.  Some seem to think that TV helps with speech... don't buy that bullshit.  A TV can't hold a candle to a responsive parents.

Oh, and there is a difference with learning to read and talking.  Speech and letter recognition are not the same thing.  I know a few bright toddlers that knew their letters by sight at age two (or before), and that's great, but it's not a replacement for speech.  I've never really flash carded or anything like that with Jude, not with any regularity or dedication, but he's almost three and knows his alphabet and most letters by sight.  He figured out that last part in a manner of weeks.  Sometimes it's just a matter of when they're ready, they're ready and things click.  I'm not at all concerned with having Jude know how to read before Kindergarten, I am glad to know that he'll be able to express himself verbally with other children and adults in a clear and concise manner.  I can't begin to describe how wonderfully less stressful life is when I KNOW what my child wants or needs and I'm not guessing at it.  He's much less frustrated so I am too.

On that note, I'm not being negative against the teaching them to read young, on the contrary, it's just not my top priority with Jude.

Oh yeah, almost forgot.  "Feeling" words!  That's the importance of teaching children words that describe how they're feeling.  Getting them acquainted with the subtle differences from things like angry to annoyed.  Also making sure to include "happy" words which for some reason we tend to leave out: thrilled, overjoyed, content, relaxed, giddy, etc. build up their repertoire!  Consider them tools, even arsenal, and when you send them out into the world you want them as prepared as possible.  Our ability to successfully communicate with others is (more or less) directly related to our success in life as a whole and gives us a much greater chance of being happy.  So when you're frustrated, tell your child that, don't just say you're mad.  When you're excited, pleased, delighted, pleasantly surprised, satisfied, discouraged, despondent, melancholy, glum, irate, furious, vexed, exasperated, aggravated, riled up, tense, astonished, or just plain silly, use those words, don't dumb it down.

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