When you enter in a relationship and it becomes love you never stop to think that one day (if children are a probability) you will love someone even more than you love your partner. But it will happen. Unless you're wonky in the head, or unless you're never allowed to bond with your child (I could honestly see that being a valid issue), your child becomes the end all be all. The center of your universe. If it came down to saving ten thousand people or saving your child, you'd pick your child. In a rational conversation you might think you'd pick the whole over the one, but in reality? We can't all be Jack Bauer. Nope, emotion rules the day. I want to say it's part of being human, but it's not, it'a the animal instinct in us. I have had more than one mama bear moment in Jude's (slightly less than) mere three years on this planet. And I do not apologize for this, even to his Papa.
I will trip you and let the zombies get you if it means my son survives. And yes, I would sacrifice myself to save him too, so long as I knew someone else was there to care for him. That's part of the dilemma people rarely stop to consider; if you sacrifice yourself who will care for your child? Ah, yup, leaving the baby without help is just as idiotic as giving them up when you stop to think about the consequences. It makes me think about the 2007 remake The Mist... the man shooting his son... living with that as he did? Hell. But doing it knowing that it's either that or letting them suffer? I can't judge. It's horrible, but not everything about being a parent it warm and fuzzy. It's about doing what is in the child's best interest.
Sometimes that's hard to figure. You have moments where you're not sure if sheltering your child is the best thing. I honestly think that children are too sheltered these days. I think that "survival of the fittest" has fallen by the wayside thanks to bike helmets and super soft playground flooring. That which is natural has been replaced and THAT'S why we're overpopulated. I think nature will eventually correct itself and we're going to have a mass extermination to reclaim the balance... but that is neither here nor there. Oh, and the desire to have so many damn children. Sorry... I'm a two tops type of girl. One to replace either of us when we go. No more is needed. In fact, these days even that is irresponsible, socially speaking. But then, it's always "They should be the ones not reproducing, not us!" which is just a way of placating ourselves and covering our eyes by claiming that we have the right... vicious cycle. Watch Idiocracy if you want some perspective on the issue. Yup, I'm sort of militant in my beliefs on breeding. I'm all for birth control in the water, have been since high school, sometimes you have to be harsh in order to save the world. Warm and fuzzy doesn't cut it in this day and age. Look at our current political climate and you'll see proof... unfortunately.
Anyway, back to our children and our need to protect them. Yup, have no doubt that I place Jude's life above yours. Fact. As long as he doesn't turn into some murdering psycho (which really... if you've met Jude that's a HUGE stretch of the imagination) this will always be the case... at least I can surmise that. I still take every day as it comes :)
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