Why do people feel the need to label their kids? In some circumstances I understand the need to get an official diagnosis in order to properly treat a disorder or learn more about coping techniques, but it just seems like these days parents are in a hurry to find out what's "wrong" with their kids.
I think that those types of parents can fit into two categories. The first are the blamers. They want to be able to explain away behavior rather than learn to direct it, change it, or cope with it. Direct, change, and/or cope almost sound like dirty words in relation to children's behavior, I know, why do I need to change my kids?! No, don't go there. Everything you do from the time they are born assists in shaping who they are whether you are actively doing it or not, so don't give me that shit. If your child has ADD you have to help them learn techniques for focusing. If your child has OCD you have to help them learn how to handle it to minimize the potential for negative effects. If your child has Autism you will spend time coping with all manner of different scenarios other parents aren't likely to understand. It's not about controlling, it's about guiding, like little bumpers on a go-cart track, freedom to move but protection against crashing.
Anyway, back to the blamers. Yeah, they're the ones that once they get a diagnosis will then start using it as an EXCUSE. Big old difference between an excuse and a reason. There are times where the disorder is the reason, but for blamers ALL negative behavior becomes it's fault and is often left to flourish because "what can I do? They have _________." This also results in parents who never take the time to fully learn about their child and what having a significant disorder entails, which leads to a lack of quality in the lives of these children. To me, it's a form of abuse. Simply put, they are failing to help their child be the happiest and healthiest they can be.
The second category I think are the ones that are just morbid. They want to know what's wrong with everyone and feel the need to label everyone according to their... faults for lack of a better term. Faults by societies standards, mind you, not my own. I'm speaking in generalities here. These morbid parents just find it all too interesting and get hung up on the technical crap and so often fail to really see the child behind it. They're usually more interested in the medical aspect and look to cures in things like drugs and such rather than in letting their child simply be who they are.
Now, this doesn't include all the parents out there who are doing right by their kids. I'm not trying to say that everyone that has a kid with a disorder is wrong in getting them diagnosed. Not by a long shot. I simply mean to say that unless there is a serious detriment, and by that I mean it's affecting the child's health or happiness and at home coping techniques are not enough, there is no need to "get them tested." Every child is different. Every human is different. Normal does not exist anymore because our scope of understanding is too broad to allow it, however, I don't believe that it means we need to nit pick at our kids quirks. My son's got his fair share, and we've learned to adapt to them, like parents have been doing for thousands of years. My son doesn't need a label, but thanks for offering.
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