I don't often start off a post with a picture, but this is what I found in my bed this evening. I don't mean to imply that I wasn't expecting it, I put him there, but it's not something I see every day so it's a sweet treat.
We don't co-sleep. Never have. I am not in favor of any sleeping arrangement that means that one or more parties involved won't actually get any decent sleep (honestly, I'm in favor of reverting to the old ways of separate wings of the house for everyone). I'm not against co-sleeping, per se, I'm just against it if it means no one sleeps well. Which, from what I hear talked about, involves 80-90% of those I know that co-sleep.
So why do it?
I understand the allure, especially for mothers. We always sort of wish we could absorb our babies back into ourselves. This incessant need to surround them, protect them, very nearly smother them with out love and devotion. I suppose for fathers there could also be the need to be close in a way that competes with the closeness us mothers have. After-all, they can never know what it's like to actually carry that other little person inside of them. I think for single parents there may be an even greater draw, since maybe they don't see the child as often and want to soak in every minute of it, or a sense of camaraderie that comes if the other parent isn't involved at all (you and me against the world, etc). And they are so darn cuddly looking, our babies...
But I still don't get it. I will occasionally nap with Jude, a few hours, no problem. And I think I once slept a whole night through with him in bed with me (and just me, so there was room to spare), but for the most part any time I try to let him sleep with me I end up moving him to his bed after only a few hours. Can't take the twitching, the smacks in the face, the feet in my stomach. I need my sleep. I'm a royal bitch if I don't get it. I will literally feel like I have the flu if I haven't slept well. I'll be nauseous, I'll get a headache, I'll get light-headed and feel achy and I'll have no patience to speak of. I NEED sleep. Like I need air to breath. Maybe I'm more sensitive than most... yeah, probably. I'm also an insomniac who needs meds to sleep at all... so there's a very clear connection I think. I treasure my sleep.
As an itty bitty he slept in a bassinet next to our bed. Once he was big enough to start trying to pull himself upright in it he landed in the crib in his room. From there it was a short trip to the toddler bed... a super easy and gratifying transition. In fact, he slept better once in it. He doesn't even try to get out of it. He'll stay in it until he's given the ok to get up (although he will try his best to convince us he should be allowed to stay up later). Lately, and I think this is tied largely into his father being gone more with band practice and shows (summer apparently means more of this and less family time... which I was actually looking forward too since I didn't have to work or take classes this summer... but whatever) he's been more clingy and needy and I've found myself putting him in "the big bed" to fall asleep and then transferring him into his bed.
Still though, I see posts on FB all the time from my co-sleeping friends about how they can't sleep, can't get enough sleep, looking tired all the time. I've watched friends and family alike nod off mid-conversation because they're tired as all get out... and they still keep the babies in bed with them! I don't get it. I really don't. I spend pretty much all day, every day, with my boy. I love him. I love him so much it hurts sometimes... but he has his own bed. We BOTH sleep better (yes, totally convinced his does too) if he's in his.
It's sort of a "riddle me this" scenario as far as I can see...
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