Love Is Not Enough

You know what annoys me?  Hearing people say "oh, but having a kid has changed them!  They're so good with their son/daughter!"  Really?  Because in most cases where that statement is made all I see is the ability to act like a child, which naturally little kids love, so of course they get along famously.

But what else have they done?  Have they made any attempt to really provide for that child?  Have they gone back to school, gotten a better job, become a truly better person for the sake of their child?  Or have they really just remained the same and are just found on the floor playing with blocks a little more often than they did before?

Do they think about the child's schooling?  Their college?  How about their future happiness?  Do they watch their own actions more closely?  Knowing that they are the biggest influence their child will have?  Are they being the person they want their child to believe them to be?!


No, seriously, really take a look at the whole picture because in my experience (and that's been great seeing as how I've known a lot of teen parents in my day and more than one dead beat dad to a friends kids), "Oh, but they're so good with them!" translates into, "Oh, but at least they're good with them!" because there's nothing else to say.  And I think too many parents lean on that thought, along with "I love them so much," as an excuse not to pay attention to everything else that's lacking.  Loving your child is only a fraction of the equation, and it is not nearly enough to rely on.  Cats in the Cradle told us that story, so do a million other songs and movies and poems out there.  We have an extensive pool of examples to draw from so there's no excuses at this stage in our evolution for us to turn a blind eye to our own faults as a person where our kids are concerned.  There are also a ton of websites and programs dedicated to teaching parents this fact.  Google "raising a child, love is not enough" or something like that, see what you come up with.  It's a hot button.

Parent your child, don't just play with them.