Let me preface this by saying that I am all about some good erotic literature. This is not an attack on the genre, rather it's an attack on the absolutely SHITTY writing authors are getting away with simply because a woman gets her rocks off on the sex sprinkled throughout the "novel" (yeah, I'm using that term loosely). Really now... there is no need to sacrifice the quality of the plot, characters, dialogue, etc., in order to add a few wet knickers moments into the story. Sex happens. It's not hard to write a convincing story that includes some descriptive bedroom (or kitchen, or elevator, or wilderness... ) scenes.
Not only are authors getting away with it, but they're getting PAID for it. Call me crazy but I don't think that shitty writing should be rewarded in that manner. I see well written authors go unsung while one crap author gets top seller list status.
Yeah, you guessed it, this is about the "50 Shades of Grey" series by E.L.James.
I honestly think that the only reasons this is popular is that a) it started off as Twilight Fan Fiction so there is some coat tail riding going on and b) it sort of slipped in and suddenly made the erotic novel genre "okay," less taboo. It was suddenly "cool" for ladies to be reading, and talking about, "Mommy Porn." It was no longer snickered about and mocked, it's was being Tweeted about by young celebrities. That's it.
And because women are far more open to erotica than past generations have been allowed to think they should be, it spread like wild fire. Let's face it, erotic novels are a form of pornography, but since women are more cerebral and less visual, the written word has a tendency to jump start our engines easier. And I think since it only involves fictional characters that you cast in your head (rather than flesh and blood people)... religiously speaking, it's not as frowned upon.
Whatever, it's porn. I dig it. I'm not afraid to say it. I'm not afraid to admit I watch porn. There, the cat is out of the bag. Pussies don't like being cooped up anyway (Oooo, did I just say that?)
Back to 50... Shades of BORING.
Don't buy this book folks. DO NOT PAY MONEY FOR THIS SERIES. I'm not joking. I seriously feel like I'm going to have to start some kind of official campaign to bring awareness to the fact that in the realm of erotic novels there are so many better authors, well written books. Hell, even if you just want the sex I could point you in the direction of ones that are hotter and don't try to mask the intent under a bunch of inane dialogue that feels like it was written by a high schooler. I kid you not. High school. It was redundant, it was poorly edited, and worst of all, the characters lacked depth. Give me anything but shallow characters. Well, and a plot that even the WB would be ashamed of.
I'm going to make buttons, and posters, and comment on every FB status that raves about it, every CafeMom forum post that touts it's praise, every overheard conversation about the "must read" novel of the year! Fuck 50 Shades of Grey, fuck it in the vanilla missionary position style in it's mother's basement to the sounds of Matchbox 20 that the rest of the novel brings to mind. Boring and immature.
Want to know what the fuss is about? Borrow it. Someone you know has already spent their hard earned money on it, let them suffer the regret. Borrow it. Most library's shelf it. Borrow it. Ask your MIL, she probably has it on her Kindle. But whatever you do, dear lord, don't pay for it!
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