Quit Labeling Our Kids

Why do people feel the need to label their kids?  In some circumstances I understand the need to get an official diagnosis in order to properly treat a disorder or learn more about coping techniques, but it just seems like these days parents are in a hurry to find out what's "wrong" with their kids.

I think that those types of parents can fit into two categories.  The first are the blamers.  They want to be able to explain away behavior rather than learn to direct it, change it, or cope with it.  Direct, change, and/or cope almost sound like dirty words in relation to children's behavior, I know, why do I need to change my kids?!  No, don't go there.  Everything you do from the time they are born assists in shaping who they are whether you are actively doing it or not, so don't give me that shit.  If your child has ADD you have to help them learn techniques for focusing.  If your child has OCD you have to help them learn how to handle it to minimize the potential for negative effects.  If your child has Autism you will spend time coping with all manner of different scenarios other parents aren't likely to understand.  It's not about controlling, it's about guiding, like little bumpers on a go-cart track, freedom to move but protection against crashing.

Anyway, back to the blamers.  Yeah, they're the ones that once they get a diagnosis will then start using it as an EXCUSE.  Big old difference between an excuse and a reason.  There are times where the disorder is the reason, but for blamers ALL negative behavior becomes it's fault and is often left to flourish because "what can I do?  They have _________."  This also results in parents who never take the time to fully learn about their child and what having a significant disorder entails, which leads to a lack of quality in the lives of these children.  To me, it's a form of abuse.  Simply put, they are failing to help their child be the happiest and healthiest they can be.

The second category I think are the ones that are just morbid.  They want to know what's wrong with everyone and feel the need to label everyone according to their... faults for lack of a better term.  Faults by societies standards, mind you, not my own.  I'm speaking in generalities here.  These morbid parents just find it all too interesting and get hung up on the technical crap and so often fail to really see the child behind it.  They're usually more interested in the medical aspect and look to cures in things like drugs and such rather than in letting their child simply be who they are.

Now, this doesn't include all the parents out there who are doing right by their kids.  I'm not trying to say that everyone that has a kid with a disorder is wrong in getting them diagnosed.  Not by a long shot.  I simply mean to say that unless there is a serious detriment, and by that I mean it's affecting the child's health or happiness and at home coping techniques are not enough, there is no need to "get them tested."  Every child is different.  Every human is different.  Normal does not exist anymore because our scope of understanding is too broad to allow it, however, I don't believe that it means we need to nit pick at our kids quirks.  My son's got his fair share, and we've learned to adapt to them, like parents have been doing for thousands of years.  My son doesn't need a label, but thanks for offering.

SAHM&P

I'm super looking forward to time off from school.  I can't wait to start working with Jude more, on preschool type things.  And I'm looking forward to time spent on my photography, that will be awesome.  Oh, and let's not forget crafts!  I've been finding so much cool stuff on-line that I want to try doing.  Now, all we have to do is make it through the next week and a half and we're golden :)

Oh Kermie!

We went and saw the newest Muppet movie this evening and I have to say I LOVED it.  It even made me tear up a bit, sappy me.  But really, the whole thing movie had me thinking that Jim Henson, wherever souls go after this life, must be super happy and proud.  The hearkening back to the old show (the one I watched growing up... yes, I'm that old), the idea that the Muppets are still as loved as ever, people just need to be reminded... it was perfect.  Jason Segal, I applaud you.

Bette Davis

♥

♥

Yup, love it.

The Judester

So, Jude update, health-wise.  His three year well child check up was this past Wednesday.  He is weighing in at a tad over 30lbs, is standing nearly 39 inches (he's now much taller than his cousin Piper, is almost spot on the same as his cousin Ayden, and is only a few inches shorter than Austin, and Jude's the baby of the group!), his eye sight is stellar (the tech was impressed), and his leg is straightening out more.  The doctor was impressed that he's completely potty trained, his teeth were "squeaky clean" as she put it, and says that he looks great over-all, very healthy.  The tech came in to take his blood for an iron count, and he was so brave, he didn't cry until it was all over with, I was so proud of him.

He's turning into such a wonderful little man.  He's currently well into his terrible threes, which for us is easy compared to what I see others going through.  The two's were cake, the threes are a little more trying.  Jude has discovered the use of the word like, so now when you're not letting him get his way he tells you he doesn't like you.  Which sucks, but at the same time it's just him expressing his feelings in a generalized manor.  Kids are do all or nothing about things!  He'll also tell us he doesn't like what we're saying and will tell us to stop talking.  His newest thing is to send me to my room.  If I'm not letting him do what he wants he says "I want you to go in your room Mama.  Go do homework in your room."  It's a little funny.  He makes up for those little things though, his manners are still amazing, and he's such a love.

He's starting to write his letters now.  I can't wait to be done with classes so I can spend more time cultivating that, along with his numbers.  He's just so damn smart.  He's started asking for 100 piece puzzles now, although he still needs help with those or he gets bored about halfway through.  The 24-48 are a cinch for him now though, it's crazy watching him just zooming through them like they're nothing.  His memory is scary good too.  He'll remember some small detail from something that happened 6 months ago and hasn't been brought up since.  Oh, for example, we attended a baby shower at the Engine House back in April and the hostess had provided bubbles in the goodie bags.  Well, we attended another baby shower there about a week ago and what does Jude immediately ask for?  The bubbles.  There weren't any, much to his dismay, but he remembered the room and that it had meant bubbles the last time.  Crazy!

Anyway, he's just our amazing little mister and I love discovering this world anew through his eyes.  It's the best!

My Little Old Man

We were told Jude seems older than his mere three years three times today by three separate people.  It's a combination of looks and vocabulary apparently, he's quite the talker.  He's always looked a little older to me:

/\ That's him at just five days old, so alert.

/\ That was a little over three months.

/\ Seven months.

And that was at his first birthday party... /\ already walking and working it in a bounce house!

I'm with Jude everyday so it's really easy to take for granted how ahead of the curve he is.  And he is, ahead of the curve in nearly everything, not like genius ahead, but enough that it's apparent.  It takes being around other peoples children, who are totally healthy and normal and on track developmentally, to realize this.  I saw a three month old today and I feel like Jude was never really that much of a baby-baby except maybe in that first week.  I almost feel cheated, lol.  He grew up so quickly, and being ahead on everything made it even quicker than the average.  I feel like I never got much true baby time with him.

Shut The Fuck Up

Things I've learned thanks to my paralegal studies: Nearly everyone taking law/paralegal classes...

1. Loves to hear themselves talk.
2. Loves to beat dead horses.
3. Loves to get caught up on the details and outcomes. (unless you're actually studying to be a lawyer, this rarely matters)
4. Does not understand that no one else gives a shit about what they have to say.
5. Thinks they know more than everyone else in the class.
6. Knows someone who has been arrested unfairly (and wants to tell you how they would have fought the case and won because they know the law).
7. Actually wants to be a lawyer (but has chosen not to be due to money/time/lack of growth in the field... according to them).
8. Are argumentative as fuck.
9. Rarely smile.
10. Thinks that 5 minuets actually means 15.  I think this is somehow the key to why things take so long in the legal arena.

I'm sure I'll have more to add later.