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Thursday, May 3, 2012

Playing Catch Up

Whew, I forgot how exhausting it can be getting swept up in someone else's drama.  I'm going along, minding my own business, and then *wham* upside the head with a whole lot of stupid.  It is time to shake off the shit and get back to what's important.

So, Jude is proving to be quite the adept little negotiator.  It's rather annoying but oddly inspiring at the same time.  He's so damn logical that it's hard to argue with him on some matters.  For example he's excellent at stalling.  At bed time he knows exactly which arguments we can't deny, like the potty or sometimes a story... things that are either necessary or that deep down I know are simply good for his soul.  Little stinker.  We run up against the "enough, no more, go to sleep or no ____ tomorrow." pretty much every night now.  I'm not sure if we need to change up the routine or simple stick it out and hope it gets better.

I know I've mentioned this before, but it's such an integral part of who he is I must bring it up on a regular basis; dude is ahead of the curve.  I'm faced with it the most when I see him around other kids his age, or I look at a younger child and realize that at the same age Jude was doing so much more.  I'm not taking credit for this, that's just genetics, he was born lucky on that front.  His manners and such I'll happily take credit for, but the simple fact of intelligence and physical prowess is all him.  I'm going to have to post some fresh video soon of him talking and telling stories.  His grasp of language and even of abstract thought is pretty damn awesome, not to mention entertaining.

What else is going on in our lives?

We're looking at home ownership right now.  That's exciting, and a little daunting.  It will mean a big change for us in certain areas of life... some for the better, some for the... not worse, just not so fun.  It'll be nice to have our own yard, to not share walls or have someone stomping around above us all the time (doing God knows what but I'm pretty sure it involves aerobics and rearranging Tudor style furniture at the same time).  It means getting to paint and decorate how we really want... but it also means caring for everything ourselves.  And out of the two of us, let's just say I'm more handy with the handy work than my dear husband is ;)  But just because I've rewired a kitchen doesn't mean I want to be doing stuff like that for myself... but it's part of the given-n-take of having your own space.  I'm mostly concern with our budget and how it'll be effected than anything else.  Needless to say this is still a bit out time wise, likely closer to the end of this year.

I've been dealing with a minor knee injury.  Well, it's not an injury, it's an exacerbation of a preexisting condition that might possibly be early signs of arthritis.  Yay me!  My family has a history of early onset as it is (my mother actually just had a knee replaced and will have the second one done soon), and I've had joint pain in my knees since high school.  I use to have a lot of people assume "Dancers" knee... I let them believe it, far easier than explaining the truth.  But yeah, it's always given my trouble, often feels like two bouncy balls rubbing together, which doesn't hurt, just feels weird, but the pain does come.  Right now it's laid me up for a couple of days and it's driving my completely bat shit crazy!  I really want to get back out and get active!  Sigh, getting old can suck it.

We are officially getting rid of all the baby stuff.  Yup, no more babies for us.  My sentiments on too many kids have already been expressed, so I'll skip that, but I'll add a few things.  1.  I like that we can give Jude all the extras in life (within reason of course).  I like being able to take him on vacations that don't simply exist of camping in the local state park.  I want him to experience other places, cultures, and another child would greatly diminish the ability to do that due to both money and stress.  2. The thought of paying for one child's schooling is daunting enough and I will not sacrifice what I can give Jude over a selfish need to have another baby.  I want him to have the best that we can offer and banking on other funding is stupid.  3.  I don't want to go through pregnancy and labor again.  Nope, didn't like it.  Hated it for the most part despite having an easy pregnancy... the c-section didn't help my experience any.  4.  I am human.  I am flawed.  I EXPECT to play favorites.  I'm not going to sugar coat that fact.  I know that having another child will alter my relationship with Jude and I don't want it altered.  I would feel guilty if I loved him more over another, and/or I would feel guilty if I loved another more.  You can give me all the lines you want about loving them equal, loving them in different ways, about love expanding... blah, blah, blah.  I am of the personality type that would play favorites.  I know that about myself.  I will not subject either Jude or another child to that flaw in my personality if I can at all help it.

So there you have it.  Updated I think.  All caught up.

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