Jude is now walking around singing his vowels, "A E I O U!" very loud and forcefully. I'm not sure if he really understands what they are yet, but he sure as hell can repeat them... over, and over, and over again.
What else is new in Judeland? 100% potty trained. Well, he really has been since about the end of August, but he still would ask to sleep in pull-ups even though he was waking up dry. It was more of a comfort thing for him I think. Anyway, we recently ran out and decided to just let it go. Jude asked where his pull-up was and we just told they were all gone, but that he didn't need them, and that was that. No accidents, not at night, not during the day. He was ridiculously easy to potty train and I'm grateful for that.
He just keeps adding to his vocabulary, and with fantastically big words and complex thought. For example the other day he told me that "they made a commotion." Not they're noisy, or were loud, nope, they made a commotion. He has also started using appreciate instead of just thank you. So he'll tell me, "I appreciate it." I know that he gets that one from me because I tell him that all the time. The commotion one... not sure where he picked that one up though. He's a huge story teller and now sets the scene for you. He'll tell you "I'm going to tell you a story; it's about Spiderman, and Dr. Octopus and Sandman." Or something like that. He does the same with songs. He'll grab his guitar and tell you "this song is about a mama bear, papa bear, and baby bear." and then proceed to play his guitar and sing for you. And no, he doesn't actually know how to play the guitar, he just pretends. Oh, on that note though, the other day while I was attempting to get him dressed and he didn't really want to I asked him why not? His reply? "Because I'm a rockstar!" He said it in this tone that was like saying "isn't that cool?!?!" not with a bratty tone, so I had to just laugh. You can't get mad at that. Still made him get dressed though ;)
He's making more headway with his letters. He's not creating words yet, but he's able to write more letters now. He's so into drawing though that most of the times we try to practice is just leads to art in general. I can't complain, I love that he loves to color and draw and paint. Which does mean he's got his colors down, and is even starting to learn how some colors make other ones, which is pretty neat. He has an artists soul... with a super logical brain, lol. You can reason with him like he's years older than three. I love that, it makes my life far more easy. And you can show him how to do something once or twice and he's got it. He's smarter than me and Aaron both.
He's such a great little dude too. Seriously. He has him moments, and the threes are definitely harder than the twos, but all it takes is being around a group of other kids to remind me that Jude is exceptional. We really lucked out and I can't imagine having any other little mister as my own.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Healing
There are times where I can't help be simply take a step back and be grateful for my life as it is. For all the heartache, the weirdness, the times of trouble, the personal things I've had to deal with in my past... I've come out of it all okay.
I come from a broken home. This does not reflect upon my own ability to maintain a stable, healthy relationship. It does not reflect upon my ability to have relationships with both of my parents. Any issues that arose from the separation of my parents have been resolved and left not lingering issues of abandonment or fear of commitment.
I was sexually abused. This does not reflect upon my ability to have a healthy view of sex as an adult. I have no weird, off the wall issues or fetishes stemming from my childhood. I did not lose my virginity young or have any issues with relationships that were founded on sex. I did not seek out sex as a form of attention, or shy away from it unnecessarily.
My mother is a schizophrenic. This does not reflect upon my own mental health. I am fairly normal by societies standards, at least as normal as any one person can be. I have some quirks but not real issues. My mother's behavior toward her children, while not always rational, was always loving. I wasn't aware other mother's did anything different until I was old enough to accept what my mother was dealing with. She never gave me reason to resent her. I may have had to grow up a little more quickly than I would have liked to, but as a whole it hasn't been detrimental. She has served as an example of a truly empathetic, intelligent, caring, selfless individual and I'm proud to call her mom.
I was lucky, I don't know why or how, but I came to understand at a relatively young age, that my experiences are two things.
1) They are merely experiences, they happened to me, they do not define me. My words and actions do that. There is no shame in living through what someone else does to you.
2) They are mine to talk about. If they happened to me, they are mine, and no one can tell me who I can tell about them or when the time is right to open up. Those that try are only hindering the process of healing.
I don't know why I was different in that regard. I'm very grateful I was though. I have had years to come to terms with the past. I've had years of healthy living to prove to myself that none of this is a fluke, I am really over all of that. I simply hope that I can help others realize the same thing is possible.
I come from a broken home. This does not reflect upon my own ability to maintain a stable, healthy relationship. It does not reflect upon my ability to have relationships with both of my parents. Any issues that arose from the separation of my parents have been resolved and left not lingering issues of abandonment or fear of commitment.
I was sexually abused. This does not reflect upon my ability to have a healthy view of sex as an adult. I have no weird, off the wall issues or fetishes stemming from my childhood. I did not lose my virginity young or have any issues with relationships that were founded on sex. I did not seek out sex as a form of attention, or shy away from it unnecessarily.
My mother is a schizophrenic. This does not reflect upon my own mental health. I am fairly normal by societies standards, at least as normal as any one person can be. I have some quirks but not real issues. My mother's behavior toward her children, while not always rational, was always loving. I wasn't aware other mother's did anything different until I was old enough to accept what my mother was dealing with. She never gave me reason to resent her. I may have had to grow up a little more quickly than I would have liked to, but as a whole it hasn't been detrimental. She has served as an example of a truly empathetic, intelligent, caring, selfless individual and I'm proud to call her mom.
I was lucky, I don't know why or how, but I came to understand at a relatively young age, that my experiences are two things.
1) They are merely experiences, they happened to me, they do not define me. My words and actions do that. There is no shame in living through what someone else does to you.
2) They are mine to talk about. If they happened to me, they are mine, and no one can tell me who I can tell about them or when the time is right to open up. Those that try are only hindering the process of healing.
I don't know why I was different in that regard. I'm very grateful I was though. I have had years to come to terms with the past. I've had years of healthy living to prove to myself that none of this is a fluke, I am really over all of that. I simply hope that I can help others realize the same thing is possible.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
"I just wanted to be sure of you."
Two blog posts in one day?! Yup, it's one of those days.
I've been thinking about friendship lately. I've run into a lot of people who seem to think that friendship is all or nothing. I don't get this. There are varying degrees of friendship, spiraling from besties all the way out to mere acquaintances. There is nothing wrong with falling anywhere along that spiral, the important thing to remember is not to try to be someones BFF when you're really more of FBF (Facebook Friend). If you try to put more into a friendship that simply isn't meant to be more, it drains you.
People grow. We all know this. Your interests change, your opinions change, your relationship status changes, you have kids, or your friends do, you change jobs, go back to school, get a new career, move away, move back, etc. Life is always evolving and you have to expect friendships to as well, and evolution sometimes involves culling.
Now, I know that someone's going to bring up the "then why bother trying" sarcastic-bitch way of replying. It's not about that, it about being sensitive enough to the world outside of your own little herd to be able to sense when you need to back off. Not being as close to someone as you use to be doesn't mean you can't still be friends, it just means your friendship has changed. If you can accept that, typically, you're better off. If you fight it... well, that's when you act like a child and do the whole "fine! I'm deleting you from my FB!" which we all know is the modern way of making moose antlers with your hands, sticking out your tongue and then saying "nany-nany-boo-boo."
Do you see what I'm getting at here?
I have friends that I've known since grade school. I don't talk to them every day. I don't really talk to them at all. I keep tabs on where their life is going, because I honestly do care, and when something happens I say "way to go! I'm so happy for you!" but I by no means expect them to come to my birthday party.
I have friends from high school who I love, I adore, who I know if I needed to bury a body, they would hop on a plane and be right there by my side... or not because they're way fucking smarter than that, but you get where I'm going with this. We have each other's backs. We knew each other, loved each other, during that pivotal moment of life when you begin to really sort out who you are and what you believe in and those friendships are usually life long. However, we don't live anywhere near each other. We write e-mail, we FB, we see each other every few years when one of us can afford a plane ticket or road trip, and we're fine with that. Friendship doesn't always need to be expressed through doing things together.
Then there are the friends I've made since reaching adulthood. Most of those have been more fleeting. Why? Because the biggest life changes happen in your twenties-thirties. You get married, you have kids, they don't. Or vice versa. You go to college, they move a town away for a new job. You get busy, frankly. You also get politics. Those are something I definitely notice. And just because one of my friends believes differently than me doesn't mean we can't be friends... but let's face it, we're not likely to be as close. We enjoy being around people of like minds. At least I do. I don't like either having to avoid topics, or argue over them with my friends, not the ones I see regularly. And I really, really, really don't want their beliefs shoved down my throat every other day. Does this mean I can't say howdy every once in a while? Nope, not at all, but it does mean I don't want a play date.
Oh, other mother's, there's another one. Parenting often causes conflict. My son is particular about who he wants to spend time with. If the mother is someone I'm not necessarily close to, but my son loves their kid, great, I'll make it happen... but if not... yeah, not really going to bother. However if he's not really interested but I love the mama's company, play dates will happen, little boy gets no say. I've run into way more of the later than the former. Actually, I'm not sure I've really run into any of the former. Jude's besties all have mama's that I dig. But that's not my point, my point is that parenting styles, when they clash, that also leads to a break down in friendship. It's extremely common, even happens among family.
AND, there is always the chance for a drifting back to occur. So be careful about burning bridges; it's a lot easier to do some patch work than it is to do a full rebuild.
In summation. Don't sweat drifting friendships. Make an honest effort, but don't over reach yourself, that leads to resentment. Don't feel guilty if you're the one drifting either. It's called life, it doesn't stand still, you can't expect to always be on the same page you were three years ago, if you are... it might be time for some new friends.
I've been thinking about friendship lately. I've run into a lot of people who seem to think that friendship is all or nothing. I don't get this. There are varying degrees of friendship, spiraling from besties all the way out to mere acquaintances. There is nothing wrong with falling anywhere along that spiral, the important thing to remember is not to try to be someones BFF when you're really more of FBF (Facebook Friend). If you try to put more into a friendship that simply isn't meant to be more, it drains you.
People grow. We all know this. Your interests change, your opinions change, your relationship status changes, you have kids, or your friends do, you change jobs, go back to school, get a new career, move away, move back, etc. Life is always evolving and you have to expect friendships to as well, and evolution sometimes involves culling.
Now, I know that someone's going to bring up the "then why bother trying" sarcastic-bitch way of replying. It's not about that, it about being sensitive enough to the world outside of your own little herd to be able to sense when you need to back off. Not being as close to someone as you use to be doesn't mean you can't still be friends, it just means your friendship has changed. If you can accept that, typically, you're better off. If you fight it... well, that's when you act like a child and do the whole "fine! I'm deleting you from my FB!" which we all know is the modern way of making moose antlers with your hands, sticking out your tongue and then saying "nany-nany-boo-boo."
Do you see what I'm getting at here?
I have friends that I've known since grade school. I don't talk to them every day. I don't really talk to them at all. I keep tabs on where their life is going, because I honestly do care, and when something happens I say "way to go! I'm so happy for you!" but I by no means expect them to come to my birthday party.
I have friends from high school who I love, I adore, who I know if I needed to bury a body, they would hop on a plane and be right there by my side... or not because they're way fucking smarter than that, but you get where I'm going with this. We have each other's backs. We knew each other, loved each other, during that pivotal moment of life when you begin to really sort out who you are and what you believe in and those friendships are usually life long. However, we don't live anywhere near each other. We write e-mail, we FB, we see each other every few years when one of us can afford a plane ticket or road trip, and we're fine with that. Friendship doesn't always need to be expressed through doing things together.
Then there are the friends I've made since reaching adulthood. Most of those have been more fleeting. Why? Because the biggest life changes happen in your twenties-thirties. You get married, you have kids, they don't. Or vice versa. You go to college, they move a town away for a new job. You get busy, frankly. You also get politics. Those are something I definitely notice. And just because one of my friends believes differently than me doesn't mean we can't be friends... but let's face it, we're not likely to be as close. We enjoy being around people of like minds. At least I do. I don't like either having to avoid topics, or argue over them with my friends, not the ones I see regularly. And I really, really, really don't want their beliefs shoved down my throat every other day. Does this mean I can't say howdy every once in a while? Nope, not at all, but it does mean I don't want a play date.
Oh, other mother's, there's another one. Parenting often causes conflict. My son is particular about who he wants to spend time with. If the mother is someone I'm not necessarily close to, but my son loves their kid, great, I'll make it happen... but if not... yeah, not really going to bother. However if he's not really interested but I love the mama's company, play dates will happen, little boy gets no say. I've run into way more of the later than the former. Actually, I'm not sure I've really run into any of the former. Jude's besties all have mama's that I dig. But that's not my point, my point is that parenting styles, when they clash, that also leads to a break down in friendship. It's extremely common, even happens among family.
AND, there is always the chance for a drifting back to occur. So be careful about burning bridges; it's a lot easier to do some patch work than it is to do a full rebuild.
In summation. Don't sweat drifting friendships. Make an honest effort, but don't over reach yourself, that leads to resentment. Don't feel guilty if you're the one drifting either. It's called life, it doesn't stand still, you can't expect to always be on the same page you were three years ago, if you are... it might be time for some new friends.
Imitation Happiness
I've never understood the need to act like things are perfect. Honestly, it's self-defeating, because while you're so busy concentrated on the act you're losing precious time you could be spending actually make your life a great thing. I've watched it happen to enough people now, but I am still just as baffled by the behavior as I was five years ago. I could psychoanalys the hell out of the individuals, and I'm good at doing so, but it would serve no purpose other than to slate my own curiosity. Just because I can make an educated guess about control issues and daddy issues.... doesn't mean I think that that explains away the current state of things. An adult should be able to do that to themselves, and in recognizing the real issues, begin to work against them.
I mean, happiness can't be faked, it's like eating a sugar free chocolate bar; you think it'll be just fine, but the whole time you're wishing it were just a real chocolate bar. It's a temporary fix, it doesn't get rid of the craving, and it's likely to make you sick in the long run. So I don't get it. I myself had a weird childhood & adolescence, but I haven't let the issues that sprung from it rule my life. In fact, I've managed to work through most of those issues and am ridiculously normal is some ways. I have so much to be thankful for, so many wonderful people in my life, people that I genuinely like to be around. I take pride in the fact that I spend time only with people I enjoy spending time with (aside from maybe those once or twice a year awkward family events we all have to go through where someone or another is causing drama).
I'll bet there is a study somewhere about the long term effects of that type of behavior... the stress probably adds to a shortened life-span, lack of true happiness itself does, so it would follow that pretend happiness does as well. Unless there's something to be said for "tricking" your brain into thinking you're happy. Hm, that would actually make a really interesting topic for a psyche paper. Too bad I've tapped out those classes at school.
Anyway, I digress. Happiness can't be faked, it can't be borrowed, it can't be stolen. It's a one of a kind item that can only be created within the person wanting it. Everything else is imitation.
I mean, happiness can't be faked, it's like eating a sugar free chocolate bar; you think it'll be just fine, but the whole time you're wishing it were just a real chocolate bar. It's a temporary fix, it doesn't get rid of the craving, and it's likely to make you sick in the long run. So I don't get it. I myself had a weird childhood & adolescence, but I haven't let the issues that sprung from it rule my life. In fact, I've managed to work through most of those issues and am ridiculously normal is some ways. I have so much to be thankful for, so many wonderful people in my life, people that I genuinely like to be around. I take pride in the fact that I spend time only with people I enjoy spending time with (aside from maybe those once or twice a year awkward family events we all have to go through where someone or another is causing drama).
I'll bet there is a study somewhere about the long term effects of that type of behavior... the stress probably adds to a shortened life-span, lack of true happiness itself does, so it would follow that pretend happiness does as well. Unless there's something to be said for "tricking" your brain into thinking you're happy. Hm, that would actually make a really interesting topic for a psyche paper. Too bad I've tapped out those classes at school.
Anyway, I digress. Happiness can't be faked, it can't be borrowed, it can't be stolen. It's a one of a kind item that can only be created within the person wanting it. Everything else is imitation.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Traveling Family
It's half-way through January and I'm getting antsy. February will mark our first major vacation since 2009 and flying with Jude is going to be a whole new experience. Last time was cake. We'd prepared ourselves for a nightmare, flying with an eight month old, but in reality is turned out to be super easy. He was such a good natured little dude, no crying or fussing or yelling. We had people on both our flight in and out of Oahu commend us on your well-behaved and happy little mister. Everyone always dreads being sat next to the infant on the plane, but Jude proved their fears misguided. I was so proud of him.
This time we're not dealing with an infant but a full fledged little boy. Given, he's a very reasonable child as it is, and he's old enough now that we can use logic on him... as well as bribery and threats, so there's that. I guess I'm less worried about how this will effect others as much as I'm not looking forward to the stress it presents us. Don't get me wrong, two weeks in paradise will be well worth a few hours of potential hell, but that does not prevent me from thinking about it.
Thank God we have both an i-Phone and a Kindle Fire to help entertain him. We're also have some color packs and I think buying him a new toy specially for the flight might also help. Make it special. I think he'll be in awe of the planes, he was too little the last time to remember being that close to them. It will also help that both Tutu and Pap will be there. He loves spending time with them and they're very good at distracting him.
My lord he's a lucky little boy. This is actually one of the reasons I'm 95% sure I don't want another child. You know, after the physical crap, and my beliefs on overpopulation (and irresponsible breeding), and my relationship with Jude and a strong desire not to see that change... there's the simple fact that with another child there would be less chance of Jude getting to do all these great things so frequently. The cost of another child alone would make it less likely, then the added stress of traveling with more than one child. Really? I want to give Jude every opportunity. I want him to be able to go places and see things and experience life to it's fullest. Another child would lessen those chances. Not to sound callous about it, but them's the facts.
So yeah, just thinking about vacation. Thinking about beaches and sunsets and fresh fruit and the smell, god the smell is the best. The flowers, the markets, the locals, the absolutely awesome time we're going to have this year.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Kindle Fire Cover Tutorial
Okay, so I needed a case for my new Kindle Fire (love), but when we went shopping we found very few options for them. Could be because it's still new and they haven't had time to come out with that many accessories, or it could be that other people just have horrible taste. The only cover I found that I liked was over $40... call me crazy, but I didn't feel like spending that.
While on Pinterest I ran across a post for making your own Kindle cover via Come Together Kids. I liked it because you can do so much with personalization that the chance of it being a one of a kind is pretty much guaranteed. Also, cheaper, yes please.
If you visit the above link you'll get the basic how-to on it, but I've modified her design a bit so I'm going to throw those steps out for you here.
Okay, the first is that I didn't use quilted fabric, I used a super cute flannel print, and I used quilting batting to give extra protection for the kindle. I cut two pieces to fit under both sides but made sure not to go into spine area of the book. If you do that it'll make things too bulky. I used the heat set batting and adhered it to the fabric prior to gluing the fabric down. Oh, yeah, and I skipped all the bonding tape and just glued it all down.
Third, when it came to attaching the elastic on the "in use" side of the cover I cut small slits in the fabric where they would sit and tucked everything in so it was nice and clean. The Virgo in me was not having the exposed ends on the original design. I simply marked where I wanted them to go, used an exacto blade to cut, then squeezed the hot glue under and inserted the ends.
While on Pinterest I ran across a post for making your own Kindle cover via Come Together Kids. I liked it because you can do so much with personalization that the chance of it being a one of a kind is pretty much guaranteed. Also, cheaper, yes please.
If you visit the above link you'll get the basic how-to on it, but I've modified her design a bit so I'm going to throw those steps out for you here.
Okay, the first is that I didn't use quilted fabric, I used a super cute flannel print, and I used quilting batting to give extra protection for the kindle. I cut two pieces to fit under both sides but made sure not to go into spine area of the book. If you do that it'll make things too bulky. I used the heat set batting and adhered it to the fabric prior to gluing the fabric down. Oh, yeah, and I skipped all the bonding tape and just glued it all down.
Third, when it came to attaching the elastic on the "in use" side of the cover I cut small slits in the fabric where they would sit and tucked everything in so it was nice and clean. The Virgo in me was not having the exposed ends on the original design. I simply marked where I wanted them to go, used an exacto blade to cut, then squeezed the hot glue under and inserted the ends.
Next, I did the pocket different. It is a separate piece all together. I cut both the pocket and the flap out separately from the main backing. I felt that I could get a more precise shape if I did it that way. You have to get a little creative with the bottom corners, but if you fold them kind of like you would a paper fan, you can get a nice clean corner that still allows for your Kindle to fit comfortably.
Lastly, I added a top flap to the pocket. I wanted something that would ensure that my Kindle wasn't going to slip out. I used heat bonding velcro, just a tip though, make sure you place and ad-hear the velcro before using any hot glue. If there is glue it'll melt and leave a kind of "grease" stain on the fabric. You can also just glue the velcro on. The nice thing about the fabric I picked is that it's porous enough to allow for a good bond with the glue without letting it ooze through.
Over-all tips, just measure everything before you cut, allowing for your hemming, and make sure your book is the right side up before you place the fabric... don't want to talk about it... oh, and make sure the book is thick enough to accommodate the batting and he Kindle. The one I used is actually a bit small so the bulk shows, so I plan to do another one :)
So there you have it, my modified personalized Kindle Fire cover.
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