Never A Doubt

So here is what I've come to realize over the past few days; life surprises me only when I ignore my gut instinct.  I saw this coming.  I just pushed the thought as far back in my brain as I could because I wanted to think better of people.  Now, here's the important part so pay attention; regardless of that fact that someones (or some corporations) actions can be deplorable and utterly disappointing, there is still far more good in this world than bad.

You see, I posted recently about the smoking of my neighbors, and the letter I had sent to the corporate office of  the complex's management team, and here's what happened next:

1. I had a meeting with the manager and general manager to which I invited a gentleman from the Health Dept. to attend in case either side had any questions regarding smoke-free living.  This was not meant as a offensive move, rather I expected it to merely show that I was serious and pro-active and not just complaining for the hell of it.

2. I was told two things 1) No way in hell was the complex going to go smoke-free any time soon (read "not until we can make it into a profitable endeavor from the onset, because money is the number one here) and 2) That the situation with my neighbors was being handled.  No specifics could be given because that's dancing the line with "tenant privacy rights."  Of course it would have been very easy to detail what the company's general action plan was and let me infer that that's what had been done... but I'm splitting hairs.

3. I then learned that our lease does in fact include a smoking policy.  In black and white it treats smoke from (including but not limited too) cigarettes the same as it treats loud music.  It's fine unless it bugs your neighbors (well, in layman's terms).  This includes smoking from a patio or balcony.

HOLY SHIT!

Yup, technically the action I was requesting was already in my rights to request...

4. Since I had no idea what had been done I decided that my only course of action was to notify management whenever a violation occurred.  I did this only when I could give specifics, had I done it every time there would have been far more than the mere three e-mails I sent.  I felt that this at least gave management the chance to address the issue in a secure way.

5. I recieved a 20 day notice (on the 10th) that our lease would not be renewed and that we would be required to surrender the premises on July 31st, the end of our lease term.

Wait... what?

Did I read that right?

Did that just say the victim is being punished?

Wait... what?

Yeah, you read that right.  After 9+ years of being tenants here (Aaron since 2003 anyway, I came later) and being in good standing too boot, we are being asked to leave.  The neighbors?  Still smoking on their balcony, the balcony they get to continue to occupy while we must find other accommodations.

Now, since this news was presented we have been flooded with offers of help.  Everything from boxes for packing, bodies to help in the moving process, baby-sitting so Jude isn't underfoot, and places to stay while we find a new home.  We have friends and family both up in arms over this dishonorable behavior, ready to go to war for us.  We aren't asking them to, mind you, but it's nice to know we have the backing should we need it.

And with that statement I suddenly felt like Sarah: "Should you need us..." "Yes, should you need us..."  "I'll call."

So, for those that are... following us ;)  That's what's up.  Not nearly as "juicy" as you probably thought it would be.

The point of all of this is, however, that sometimes the universe has other plans for us, and they lead toward much better things.  I'm not at all worried, despite the natural stress of the situation, because we have needed a change for so long.  And on top of it we have so much support from family and friends that I feel on top of the world.  And the reason is... because I was in the RIGHT!  I did nothing wrong, and my power, my ability to cause a ruckus, is what scared the crap out of our management.  I do have power, I do hold sway, and by acting as they did, Bianco Properties let me know that.  I have no shame, no regret and I know for a fact, that this is only where life gets better for us.  In fact, our love as a family has only grown.  I love my husband for how much he has supported me in all of this. Never a doubt.

No Greater Bond

So tonight I had one of those perfect movie moments of Jude walking out of his room, not fully awake, with his blanket and wub in one hand and his Bedtime Bear in the other, eyes barely slits to battle the sudden light in the living room, asking "Mama, can I sleep in your room"?  Papa is playing a show tonight so we've spent the evening just the two of us, which always creates sort of a 'us against the world' kind of vibe.  I can't explain it beyond that but any mama that's had those same types of situations, hell any single mama can lay claim to, knows.

It was recently brought to my attention by a friend who read an article (I know... that's a stretch), that infants leave cells behind in their mothers after birth.  I do not know the length of gestation that is required for this to occur... I haven't really looked into it much since the initial information was presented, but after birth is a definite, but I can tell you I will now be looking into the science further.

There's always been an additional connection between mother and child beyond what a father can ever comprehend.  I like to think it's our bonus for having to actually incubate our children.  It's the tradeoff for the discomfort, the body change; the widened hips, the stretch marks, the bigger boobs (that might shrink after the fact to a smaller cup size than original), the weight that never leaves, the thicker ankles, etc.  It balances the nine months of giving up caffeine, alcohol, excessive sugar, processed foods, trans fats, and whatever else might be prudent.  It pays off  the inability to sleep through the night because you can't find a comfortable position... the inability to even SIT comfortably because of the changes.  It pretty much pays us back for everything… I must admit, I would gladly pay all that for that extra bit of love and bond we get with our babies.  It is … god, it’s amazing!

Part of my feels selfish for that… but then again… not really.  I’m a selfish being and knowing that my son will always be as much a part of me as I am of him?  That’s pretty much the shit right there.  It’s almost god like… is that inappropriate to say?  Oh well, I said it, so there you are.

Don’t get me wrong.  I absolutely adore watching my husband interact without our son.  Seeing them play together, seeing them read a book together, seeing them cuddle and watch Saturday morning cartoons together on the couch…?  I LOVE that.  More than anything… but knowing that my baby boy, the one I grew, the one that shared my body with me as no one else could, will always share a special bond with me and me alone…?  That?  That is deep.  That is nearly beyond my ability to even put to words.

So see, here I sit, seriously contemplating the bond of parents with their children… and I thank God, Yahweh, Allah, whatever it is you choose to worship, that these little people have such a profound effect on us.  Without it, this world would be a cold, heartless, fucked up place.  Let’s just hope that that love… that bond, is enough to bridge the gap and make peace for the babies that love us.